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Lately time has been hard and rough but how can we blame 'Time' when we are the one who choose not to smile. How often do we come across quotes and positive stuff like 'Enjoy every moment because it can't be relived' or 'Find a reason to smile everyday'. It does not mean a thing to depressed people like us because all the quotes, sayings, are just words. Words that were made when they felt it ,just as the same way we come up with 'My scars are fading,I feel lost' or 'It stings in shower if you know what it means then I am sorry for you'. Everything is made up. Depending on situation, surrounding, emotions and the nature of our living we tend to intake and mould ourselves around things we love from inside.
Personally when it comes to helping others,I am that kind of person who is awake at 3:30 am in morning and spend endless nights without sleeping. I have and had skipped numerous lectures and falled down academically because I chose to talk people out. (Most of times they are online people and friends and shall we not fail to consider the stupid time zones). I am best known for advising, motivating and inspiring people, at least for those few moments. So how exactly can such a positive person find themselves in abyss of depression?? Is it good to even realise that oneself is in deep ocean of sadness? But still how come I enjoy that feeling? Or am I just used to it that I cannot adjust with people around me?!
Feelings are the worst thing that a human can have. How many of you agree with me? There is a big difference between emotions and feelings. How easy it would be if people were just true to you and say 'Hey I won't be in your life forever' or 'I will be your friend till I get my work done'. It would be so awesome because at least we won't be in pit of being used and feel like left-overs. We would make ourselves ready mentally and physically for the same. The conspiracy of the world is never ending. So shall we blame it on humans this time? No, don't blame it because you live in a world who judged you right from the time your were born. So give it up!! Stand up for what is right and what you deserve. Kill the world with your kindness!
They say 'Time runs out' but we wish it would. Sadly none of it is true. Today I still have to argue to fight the feelings of wanting to stand under a rain and just cry while in fact I would be around such good people cracking jokes. I still feel the need to go post some meaningful life related stuff while I would be dancing with best friends. Why are these things haunting me ? I feel calm when I see sad quotes, would you label me as physco? Then why can't I adjust with demons in my educational institute ? Why can't I be bold?! When I'm beautiful by heart. Life doesn't hand you over the smile card that easily . Sometimes you get a yellow card and sometimes red card (sorry for those people who couldn't make it till today).
Whatever day and year this is, I am proud to be made up to it. I fought. But give yourself a pat that you made it too. Your my favourite warrior. Don't let the world ruin you. If you like being sad be sad but enjoy ur while your sad. I don't encourage cutting, no one does but its not easy to stop. Before putting that razor to your skin think twice if that person is worth cutting for ? That scar will remain with you forever while that person may vanish sooner or later. I love cold and as the night falls in I become sad. I am not a lover of black but I like the night and chillness in air and most of all, I love the true pure crystal feelings I get in those silent nights:)
Stay strong, if you can't then break bonds and be free and teach some people rules that they should abide to. Don't give up because today it may be you but tomorrow someone will replace your place and do the same. So please find and help people that may be suffering same problems.
Thank you for reading fighters.<3
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